I can’t pay tomb raider. Well, I’m trying every since the smart individuals that handle Sony’s PSN+ free game system decided to start handing out Tomb Raider as the free game of the month. I had heard great things about how Square and Crystal Dynamics had really reinvigorated the Tomb Raider franchise with their most recent games. I personally haven’t played a Tomb Raider game in its entirety since Tomb Raider 3 when I had sworn off the poly-tearing, grid-walking, perpetually nude teasing mess that was happening with the franchise in the hands of Core designs. NEVER AGAIN.
Core Churned out like 3 more horrible Tomb Raider games before the franchise was handed over to the guys that made Gex. Yes, Gex the Gecko. To their credit they also handled the Legacy of Kain franchise which while fun hadn’t inspired any urges in my loins to pick up the latest Lara Croft adventure.
Anyway, somewhere along videogame history came along Hideo Kojima’s digital Rubiks cube known as Metal Gear Solid and that, with help from Resident Evil, helped spawn this new genre of software that I am dubbing “gamertainment”. Not quite a game, certainly not a movie, but something in the middle that while has characteristics of each is never fully commited to either.
I was quite happy when Psychomantis, Silver Fox, Ocelot and the gang would shit talk or give some insight into their crazy before I stomped their asses out. Provided motivation. Somehow developers got the great idea that they could forgo the whole ‘game design’ aspect for large chunks of time in games by offering some sort of narrative experience.
I hate Tomb Raider and the game hasn’t even been played for an hour. In fact I wouldn’t call much of what I have been doing much of a game as I’m mostly shaking my controller, holding up on the analog, and occasionally burning things with a torch. I think I also shot a deer. In that hour I mustve been submitted to over 20 mins of fucking talking between some teeny bop they have voicing lara now and whoever these weirdos are that she’s now referring to as ‘friends’. I can’t let that thing stay on for more than 15 minute intervals and will likely tune in this weekend in hopes of change as to whats going on in school the game.
Did I mention how Uncharted turned on Lara? Clearly there’s some inspiration and motivation thats been perpetuated by that game as I have a had time reminding myself that Sully won’t come stumbling through some alley guns
started a new distraction. Too many games suffer and are crutched by this aspiration in video gane development.
