Plot: Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is the 28-year-old slacker son of widower James Reid (Tom Wilkinson), publisher of the Los Angeles newspaper The Daily Sentinel. Britt is an irresponsible playboy, but his attitude changes when James is found dead from an allergic reaction to a bee sting. After the funeral, Britt fires the staff aside from his maid and Kato (Jay Chou), James’ mechanic and a skilled martial artist.
Britt and Kato get drunk together and, upon agreeing that they both hated James, visit the graveyard to cut the head off James’ memorial statue. After they succeed, they see a couple being mugged, and rescue them. Britt and Kato are themselves mistaken by police for criminals and chased through the streets, but Kato evades them and he and Britt return to the mansion.
Britt convinces Kato they should become crimefighters who pose as criminals in order to infiltrate real criminals, and also to prevent enemies from using innocents against them. Kato agrees, and develops a car outfitted with several gadgets and weapons, which they call the Black Beauty.
Impressions: Frankly, I don’t think this movie ever should’ve been made. With all the care and detail Rogen puts into writing the movie, with homages, small details and the approach of a different type of superhero movie. You would think he would’ve had the foresight to cast appropriately as well. Rogen as the Green Hornet is absolutely mis-cast. His portrayal is more Pineapple Express than anything else and it completely bewildered me. In Pineapple Express it made sense, here it makes no sense at all. It was like watching a stoner bumbling through the motions of being a superhero. Except here he was wasn’t high, he was just bumbling through the motions, thinking it would be funny. The impression I got, is he’s just more self-aware of what he’s doing. So scenes come off as awkward or embarrassing or odd attempts to be serious suddenly. Or funny. There are elements of the film which are laughable. In the end the movie is tolerable but still shouldn’t have been made. Frankly it just made no sense to me.
I applaud him for slimming down, but that’s the only change you see with how Rogen acts. You assume he’s skinnier so he might suit the role more. But you get these movies with big budgets, huge marketing and you wonder after watching said movie… why the hell did I pay to watch this? There are popcorn films and there are bad films and there are bad films that are so bad it’s good. This is just a bad movie in concept. The whole way he becomes the Green Hornet was like watching two buddies get really high and end up doing something stupid one night. Then the next day they’re on the news and are still living off the high of what they did as some kind of rush and they get high again and keep doing it over and over. They needed a device to make him into the Green Hornet, it’s just so stupidly convenient. Maybe not even convenient, just stupid. Not once does Rogen’s portrayal as The Green Hornet realize he’s in danger. He just thinks it’s “ball deep really badass and cool” hell that could very be a line in the movie. It’s just unbelievable considering the movie is less superhero and more about two guys going around doing stupid shit. Yeah, they’re actually shooting real bullets at you. Yes, that’s a knife to your throat. Yet the stupidity of the film and you know nothing really bad will happen to him, just makes you realize, yeah he’ll be saved in some way and survive. Then you realize… these guys aren’t hooped up on drugs at all. The first night ok, maybe they had a couple drinks. But at some point you say to yourself… man this is a terrible idea. The movie just seemingly thinks it would be a fantastic idea that these two guys take on the underworld of the entire city of Los Angeles. That’s right… ALL the gangs.
How things propel in respect to how The Green Hornet gains notoriety makes sense within the film. Rogen is the heir to a newspaper and promotes his own propaganda. He’s the Green Hornet and can market himself using his own newspaper. The transitions end up being clumsy from scene to scene, it’s not that stuff just happens. It’s like watching someone give you a jot notes version of a pitch for a movie. Except someone decided to film the “pitch” for the movie and then fill it in with some dialogue, a couple locations for setting and scenes, some action and special effects and voila I guess you have a movie. I just don’t understand in the editing room or at any point, how anyone can think it’s a good idea. Do movies just constitute throwing a few million to a franchise and hoping it sticks?
I didn’t mind Rogen and Chou’s banter and growing friendship. That worked for me on some level and it was funny in some instances. The movie is definitely more Rush Hour with the buddy cop motif than say superhero-esque and it works. It’s probably the only way this movie works, because Kato’s character is sold as competent and likable. Jay Chou is somewhat the only redeeming factor in this film. He’s not reason enough to want to watch this movie at all though. I don’t even know why Cameron Diaz was cast, her role is so minor and since she wasn’t on screen. Oddly enough it made me like her more, as it was just doses.
Waltz as the villain seemed like a good idea, but he didn’t have that sinister edge like he did with Inglourious Basterds. I think it becomes more of a result of the writing. His character has this comical note about trying to find an identity in the crime world. How can he be more scary? What should he wear? Stupid things like that. Which are charismatic and are laughable. He gets the job done as a villain and doesn’t waste time killing someone. But in the end his craziness does him in and it’s a funny 180 that his obsession of finding an identity to be this “scary villain” causes him to waste time. It’s here you feel his character is less badass and more comic. There is never a good enough balance. The only thing balanced in fact is Chou’s character as Kato and it shows. They were aware of his limits, but aware of what he could do and what he could sell.
You know thinking recently, it’s almost like maybe this movie was rewritten once Kick-Ass came out. It’s an odd thought or maybe me just wanting the Green Hornet to have actually worked. I bring this up simply because it was like the movie couldn’t decide what it was going to do. For example, if it was going for off-screen deaths or on-screen deaths. It went from one to another, or did one and fooled the audience into thinking this movie is going to be PG-13. Then suddenly you start showing deaths left and right and it’s nothing. Then you wonder is this film PG-13 or could it have been an R film? I’m laughing, there isn’t any swearing really. It’s a PG-13 movie. But it’s a movie about vigilantism, so the content is telling me otherwise. But there are these funny scenes. It’s kind of like Rush Hour, they’re becoming goofy friends. Oh there’s the fallout of the friendship. A shootout, ok? Explosions, a funny scene with jokes. Self-realization, ok that’s the turning point. More jokes to lighten it up again. And this went on and on until the end of the movie.
And end it did.
